The Day the Toronto Subway Worked Flawlessly (And No One Believed It)

The Day the Toronto Subway Worked Flawlessly (And No One Believed It)

April 1, 2025

This morning, I stepped onto Line 1 of the Toronto subway, fully prepared for the usual chaos—delays, an out-of-service announcement, and at least one guy playing music at full volume with no headphones. But something was... different. The train arrived exactly on time. The doors opened smoothly. People stepped aside to let others exit before boarding.

At first, I thought I was dreaming. Maybe I'd accidentally gotten onto a movie set where they were filming an alternate-reality version of Toronto where the TTC functioned flawlessly. But no—this was real.

The seats were all intact, and for once, none of them were suspiciously damp. The train smelled of—could it be?—fresh air. The AC wasn’t blasting like an Arctic storm, nor was it a sauna of human despair. The announcements were clear, concise, and—most shocking of all—accurate. “Next stop, Dundas.” And you know what? We actually stopped at Dundas!

A man in a blue suit nodded politely at a woman in a hoodie. A teenager gave up their seat for an elderly passenger without being asked. Nobody tried to wedge themselves between the closing doors like they were starring in an action movie. Even the usual subway busker at Bloor-Yonge had upgraded from an out-of-tune guitar to a full jazz ensemble.

Something was up.

I turned to the guy next to me and asked, “Is this really happening? The subway is working?” He looked at me, smiled, and said, “Yeah, it’s weird, eh?”

That’s when I noticed the date on my phone: April 1st.

Of course.

Just as I was about to take a triumphant selfie to prove this miraculous moment to the world, a robotic voice chimed in: “Attention passengers, due to a technical issue, this train will be holding at this station indefinitely.”

And just like that, reality snapped back. The doors refused to open. The air conditioning shut off. Someone started eating an entire meal out of a Tupperware container with their hands.

The dream was over.

Happy April Fools’ Day.